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I can’t get off the couch right now. Yoga.

photo-1-41-1024x588Last night I sat down on the couch after working my 8-5, then I found myself in a quandary  I found that I could not get up again.  It wasn’t the typical case of: “Help! I’ve fallen and I can’t get up!”  It was the dreaded: “Help!  I’ve sat down and I don’t want to get up!”  Whelp.  I hope I’m not the only one, because I’ve concocted the perfect solution.  Some super slothy couch yoga.

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1. Legs up the couch.

2. Then let your legs fall down into butterfly pose.

3. Twist while falling off the couch trying to grab the remote.

4. Twist to the other side while falling off the cough trying to grab the OTHER remote and thinking to onesself: “Why on earth do I have so many remotes!?! and why on earth did I put the remote here?!?”

5. Stretching your right side while trying to grab a dang fangled OTHER remote. Seriously, why do I have so many remotes?!

6. Stretching your left side while trying to grab a pillow.

7. Remember that pillow you grabbed?  Now stick it under your back, so you can get a super juicy backbend in there.  I bet that one feels reeeeeeaaaaaaaalllllll good.

8. Do a super delicious slothy forward bend.  You’ll thank me later.

9. Oooooo savasana.  I believe couches were made for this.  Lots of pillows.  Super comfy.  Yeah.

Recommended time in each pose: However long you want to zone out in those poses.  This is your practice, just do what feels good to your body.  I like staying in these poses for a few minutes or like 5 minutes, whatever, sometimes I lose track and just fall asleep.  Seriously, no big deal.

Stay slothy, friends.

 

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Post Binge-Watching Yoga

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A long time ago in a room with a tv and a couch…

When my hubs and I heard they were making Star Wars: Episode VII, we felt it was our duty to refresh our memories and watch all six previous movies as quickly as possible.  Ah, binge-watching.  It feels so good, then it feels so bad.  But mostly good.  In the sense that I feel like I’m accomplishing SO much!  A whole season or series of movies in one afternoon/night/weekend – something not possible to the people who originally watched the show or movies over the course of months or years.  SO. Accomplished.  I bet those other people really felt like they wasted a lot of emotions and time.  Ha.  I’m awesome.

I digress.  This extremely satisfying yet short lived accomplishment is also accompanied by the fact that you have to get off the couch.  You have to get up and continue on with the rest of your life… but you realize your foot and left butt cheek have fallen asleep.  You KNOW what I’m talking about.  We know that I love solving these type of problems with yoga.

I hope these Jedi-tastic yoga moves will get you prepared for the next stage in your life.  May the force be with you. GOD I LOVE YODA. By the way, Yoda is SO yoga.

Also, a huge *high-five* to my friend Arielle who asked me to do this guest post for her International Geek Girl Pen Pals Club! I hope they can get their sloth stretch on!

 “Do or do not… there is no try.” – Yoda

(Also notice in the lamp #2 picture just how disappointed my dog is… it doesn’t phase me, but I think she’s judgemental…)

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*During all the poses, just do some slow, slothy happy breathing.*

1. My slothy forward bend.  If you’re tight like me, you’ll feel this.

2. Shoulder rolls.  My dog Bambi is not impressed, but I am.

3. A little backbend with the support of the couch.  Where is my husband?! He could totally support me in this pose. psh.

4. Faceplant.  Just kidding! This is called childs pose.  You’re gonna want to do it after the backbend. Trust. Me.

5 & 6. A lunge with one knee down.  First, stick your hands up in the air, bend back, and breathe for a little, then do a twist (6).  You can even do it all fancy like me with the prayer hands.  I’m praying for dessert after.  mmMMmm.

7 & 8. I hope this looks familiar.  It’s the same as 5 & 6. except with the legs switched out and twisting to the other side.  You do not want to be unbalanced. Again, trust me.

9 & 10. WARRIOR 2 POSE! AAARRRRGGG!  Can you see me taking control of my life?  Can you also see that my knee doesn’t go past my ankle?  I just “yoga teachered” you. Ha.

11 & 12. WARRIOR 1 POSE! Hands up! Breathe.  Can you see that my knee still doesn’t go past my ankle?  I’m trying to help you!!!

13 & 14. Quad stretch/balancing. 14 is suppose to be with my opposite leg.  For the love of GOD, just switch out your legs here.  I want you to be balanced! Trust. ME.  I only want the best for you.

“Luminous beings we are.  Not this crude matter.” – Yoda

Thank you Yoda.  You know just what to say.

P.S. My husband and I have decided that the only Star Wars movie worth living for is A New Hope (what I originally typed because I’m in the haze of binge-watching, obviously ;)) The Empire Strikes Back, mainly because of Yoda.  & his Yoda-isms.  They’re fantastic in that episode.

Sloth picture by the fabulous: http://www.fiverr.com/lixandra

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