It’s almost 7 months post quitting my pharmacy job and I’ve gotten to a point where I do not have goals that my old self should think I should have. My old self (Laura a few months ago) would be wanting to set these goals (no matter if I’m actually enjoying myself…):
– Continue growing photography business, so as to have successful photography business that others will be impressed by.
– Continue growing my blog, so that I have lots of readers and, therefore, would eventually lead to sponsored posts.
– Post all my yoga stuff on Instagram, so that I have tons of followers and, therefore, would lead to monetary success in some capacity.
Let me say that there is nothing wrong with these goals. I just realized that they weren’t for me, right now… maybe one day? (Anything is possible!) I actually have the luxury of relaxing right now… to not pursue monetary success from fear of death by living in cardboard box. I’m going to start owning that. It feels weird. It doesn’t feel bad.
I also realized that those goals were based on finding outward acceptance. So, I’m having to step back and find inner acceptance. Was I ever like that? Yes. I was. There are moments I can look back to where I realize I was just comfortably being myself. (Summer after middle school eating pasta salad and watching tv all day… really.) Not thinking about what anyone else was thinking of me. It’s pretty cool. It means that my body knows what that feels like, that I can get back to that.
Maybe I’ll be so comfortable with myself one day that I can be around groups of people and not feel inferior in any way? Not even feel superior. Just comfortable with myself in any situation really. I can just imagine the liberation that comes with that.
Cheers to being our unabashed selves!